Snail Wallaby

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I’m feeling a bit more sane, so I drew this.

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Like is attracted to like. This is why snail wallabies are fond of straight-up snails. This is why humans generally prefer mammals as pets (unless they’re counter-culturists or sociopaths, who prefer spiders). This is why people who like spiders get married and lay egg sacks together.

This is why I’m reading so many blog entries, but only liking and following those whose worldviews I can understand. I reject anything that does not support my own personal delusions. Please don’t break down my wall of denial.

Opposites also attract, they say.

Given these two infallible truths, is there anything that doesn’t attract? We are just disgusting zitty creatures caught in the undeniable rip tides of our own hormones, aren’t we?

Stupid Addictions

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I promised honesty. The following is something between a poem and a journal; it’s how I sort out my thoughts. I have pages of this type of thing stashed away, little mental snapshots of who I was that day.

Don’t be fooled when you read it: it sounds like I’m hugely popular. Really I’ve only had a handful of likes and it’s already breaking me! I find myself getting obsessive, checking back, checking back again. I do the same thing with Facebook. Microrewards for each action (e.g. ooh, another like!) are causing my brain to spiral into an obsessive loop. Aren’t humans crazy? I think I’ll take a break for the rest of the day.

 

A nectarine in my palm

The smell is sweet, sour, tangy, floral

It makes my mouth fill with anticipation

The skin is soft; like human skin

Cool to touch

Heavy with moisture

A baby tree inside

It’s so alive

I want to bite it

Oh how I want to bite it

Take its life for my own

Every act we make

Is an act of destruction

There is no peace

 

This blog is already breaking my tao

What a fragile thing peace of mind is

Likes and follows haunt me

Opinions like a hurricane

And I find myself thinking,

Is this good enough

Can I please them?

 

I’ve got to get it out of me

I can find my peace again

I can blog and find my peace

It’s a level up

Not worrying about notoriety is easy when you’re unknown

It’s easy to be vulnerable

Where no one can see you

I can’t hide

If I hide I go backwards

I must maintain stability of mind

I must remain empty

Because when you let yourself fill up

You are no longer useful

Office Produce

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It’s that time of year.

The office break room table is littered with free produce.

They’re never normal. There are always skinny u-shaped cucumbers, zucchini the size of hams, overly muscular heirloom tomatoes.

Oddly shaped vegetables that say things like, “New gardener,” “How in god’s name can anyone eat this many vegetables,” “I don’t have the energy to can or freeze foods,” and “Maybe somebody else will eat this penis-shaped one because I can’t handle the vibes it’s giving me.”

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The Giant Squid

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Harpoon it, Ned. Save crazy-ass Nemo.

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My favorite part in 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea is when everyone is stressing out because they are trapped in a tin can while Captain Nemo performs an endless sweaty emo rendition of Toccata and Fugue in D Minor. The true mark of madness is when one installs a pipe organ on a submarine. That’s the kind of decor that says, “If I’m not sane, why should my friends and coworkers have such a luxury?”

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