I HAVE BEEN OFFICIALLY BLOGGING FOR ONE YEAR. Bloggiversary? Am I allowed to say that word? It feels like a gross portmanteau… like synergy, or mayochup, or chillax, or meatplosion.
What a crazy year. I’ve learned so much. Even in the past week, I’ve learned so much. Can I even begin to quantify the learning I’ve learned in a year?
Ah, no, I can’t. Unfortunately I can’t remember what I learned. But I know it’s a lot.
Here’s some of what I’ve learned in just the past week:
- Listen to the red flags in every situation. Don’t do stupid things out of laziness. Cut carefully with knives. Use the pusher with the food processor. Do NOT do stupid things.
- Get your chronic cough checked out and fixed. You might get pneumonia and die.
- Don’t be a sedentary office worker; move. Or you might get pneumonia and die.
- Diet brain is a fucking menace. Eat your fats and proteins along with vegetables. I don’t know, you’ll figure it out. Do not ignore diet brain. You’ll end up chopping off digits.
- One cat will always be fat. What weight one loses, the other finds. This is an unassailable fact of life.
- Fingers heal like Wolverine. They refill and replace tissue with minimal scarring.
- Argue with your sister a little more when you don’t want something to happen. You can be just as stubborn as she is. Do it. Your fingers are your own and being tractable is not worth getting gauze stuck in the wound for days.
- People get gauze stuck in their wounds on purpose, then rip it out along with healing new tissue all the time. This called debriding the wound. I don’t understand why nice doctors would make people do this.
- David Tennant’s peculiar brand of crazy and rubber face feels like home. Watch more of his stuff. Something has got to fill the Doctor Who void…
- Dostoyevsky still blows your mind. Write like him. Except, with more lovable characters. …It could happen.
- You have too many sketchbooks. And only six good drawings?
- Breathe, relax. If you stress out about things like gauze in your wound, you’ll give yourself a hive.
So… thanks for a year of blogging. You’re all nuts. I love you so much.