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When you’ve spent your days
Scooping up viscera
Hosing down gore
When you’ve spent your nights
Huddled with the others
Waiting for the next shell to hit your trench
When it’s them or you
So you pull the trigger
And fear to miss more than you fear to hit
And you want to dream about peace
But all you see when you close your eyes
Is the face of that kid dead in the rubble
And the yielding pressure of her body underfoot
Before you realized what, in the haze, you had stumbled over.
When food tastes like water
Water tastes like worms
And heavy smells permeate
Gun oil, swamp foot, metal blood
When all this smells like home
Then
You’ll understand.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

unwanted

 

abandoned
all around her is emptiness
dark emptiness
where there should be pulsing warmth,
gentle voices of her parents talking to her
instead the cold leeches her skin

she is unwanted
she can’t comprehend
this bright pain
this un-flesh
splitting her from their joined bodies
cutting away the comfort of her mother.

mute, half-formed,
what she mourns she does not know.
she grieves her past, present, and future
loneliness stops her heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

Inktober – Happy Dog (6) and Echo (7)

Here’s a twofer.

Day 6:  This is a dog, in case you couldn’t tell. Dogs are hilarious. I’m not sure if these fancy ink pens always look like cheap markers when used, or if it’s just my special artistic touch that’s transformed them.

 

IMG_20181007_165919404

 


 

Day 7: I was reading about Echo and Narcissus, looking at depictions of them, and got a little annoyed. So I wrote this.

 

Everyone remembers Narcissus
But what of Echo?
She didn’t matter to herself
So she doesn’t matter to others
Always a footnote in someone’s painting
A wan satellite
A visual element
Used to balance out and set off
Narcissus’s self-importance.

 

And I drew Echo (alone so Narcissus with his lesser problems and greater charisma can’t steal the limelight), in the process of dwindling away into the cliffs. Soon only her voice will be left.

 

IMG_20181007_165900343

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

That damn bluebird

 

It’s easy to forget

But happiness

She always comes back

 

That emptyheaded little bluebird

Flutters off

God knows why

She has everything she needs here

I do all I can to make her comfortable

But sometimes she just

Has

To leave

And I wait for her

Looking anxiously out the window

Refilling her water bowl

Putting out her favorite treats

Trying in vain to lure her back

And hope

That she didn’t leave for good this time.

I need her

To fill my day with songs again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

Another one for Mom

 

Mom

Was it four years ago

Only four

When you were in the kitchen, insisting on helping with the dishes

You took so long

Running the disposal dry for minutes at a time.

 

Was it three years ago

Only three

In the cold, you in your green trenchcoat and walker

And I took you to a Chinese restaurant

For your latest obsession, orange chicken.

You hugged the waitress and told her you loved her.

 

Was it two years ago

Only two

When I was feeding you ice cream in bed

Sugar free, but we didn’t tell you that.

You ate it all, every time if I let you.

You told us you weren’t sick.

 

Was it one year ago

Only one?

We’d asked you if you were done with meds

And you nodded an emphatic yes

One of the last things you said.

We held your blue fingers

And watched you fade.

 

I miss you

I miss you

I hated to see you suffer

I was glad you got to go

But I still miss you.

Days go by

I’ve made new friends

I’ve found new joys

I am blossoming in new ways

You would be proud

You were always proud.

I haven’t missed out on anything

But I miss so much.

 

You were always easy to talk to

You knew things

I bet everything I have uncovered for myself

You already knew.

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

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