Tag Archives: Art

Ham.

Posted on by Leave a comment

Okay, smoking food is the best thing ever. You play with fire, then you sit in the shade and drink lemonade and read a book for hours, with occasional breaks to play with the fire again. When you’re done, you have a beautiful meal.

I did not know this. I’ve only ever smoked a few things before, all of them small. But today I am smoking a ham.

Ham. This usually doesn’t sound good but one I’ve wet cured and smoked myself? Oh mama, it’s gonna be good. It takes hours.

My lemonade is all gone. The flies are landing on me. I’ve forgotten how to blink.

Haaaaam.

 

IMG_20180708_153446363.jpg

Snail Wallaby

Posted on by Leave a comment

I’m feeling a bit more sane, so I drew this.

IMG_20180627_212734845

Like is attracted to like. This is why snail wallabies are fond of straight-up snails. This is why humans generally prefer mammals as pets (unless they’re counter-culturists or sociopaths, who prefer spiders). This is why people who like spiders get married and lay egg sacks together.

This is why I’m reading so many blog entries, but only liking and following those whose worldviews I can understand. I reject anything that does not support my own personal delusions. Please don’t break down my wall of denial.

Opposites also attract, they say.

Given these two infallible truths, is there anything that doesn’t attract? We are just disgusting zitty creatures caught in the undeniable rip tides of our own hormones, aren’t we?

The Giant Squid

Posted on by Leave a comment

Harpoon it, Ned. Save crazy-ass Nemo.

IMG_20180626_231349860

My favorite part in 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea is when everyone is stressing out because they are trapped in a tin can while Captain Nemo performs an endless sweaty emo rendition of Toccata and Fugue in D Minor. The true mark of madness is when one installs a pipe organ on a submarine. That’s the kind of decor that says, “If I’m not sane, why should my friends and coworkers have such a luxury?”

Recent Entries »