Category Archives: Thoughts

Coming out of hibernation

 

It was a lovely break, and I needed it! Thanks for being patient with me. I spent the past two months creatively BLANK. I petted the cats and watched TV and shopped and wrapped presents. I told myself I’d do something creative. I did nothing creative.

I think conversations with creative people helps trigger my own creativity.

In that light, let’s try kicking things off with a bit of philosophy:

What is wisdom?

Try to define it in your own words, without resorting to synonyms for wisdom (judgment, knowledge, etc). I’m curious about people’s personal twists on this.

My definition is below.

 

  • The ability to be happy in a civilization
  • The ability to make the kindest actions regardless of outside pressures
  • The ability to make crueler actions for the greater good
  • Tempering every action with love
  • Tempering love with sanity
  • The ability to be emotionally and situationally balanced, or to regain it quickly

 

What was your definition?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

Drawception is eating me alive

 

I have been consumed by Drawception lately. I should be more ashamed than I am.

It’s a waste of time, but it’s not an absolute waste of time. The fast-paced practice is improving my digital drawing and coloring skills. It’s also teaching me other things:

  • Concise communication
  • Lowest common denominators (modern archetypes) in language and symbols
  • Good character design
  • So many memes…
  • Where my extra time is in the day is (being obsessed, I find a way)
  • How my art stands in relation to others’

 

https://drawception.com/game/tW7EM2rDtK/a-lamp-falling-down-an-infinite-staircase/

https://drawception.com/game/syb4Grk77X/goose-has-lightsaber-now/

 

Yes, it’s 100% ridiculous. That’s the draw.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

Journal – Keeping Friends

 

 

You always had friends, she says
Dismissively
But it makes me sad.

People love her.
Why doesn’t she have friends?
It’s not, as she attributes it, extroversion
Introverts make friends all the time.

I think it has more to do with forgiveness.
She can’t forgive a slight
imagined or otherwise.
When you imagine the best of people
You’re usually right.
When you imagine the worst of people
You’re usually right.

I can’t change her outlook.
I can’t teach her to forgive.
But if she can learn to forgive herself
She might learn to forgive others.
If she can learn to forgive others
She might be able to keep a friend.

Making friends is easy.
Keeping friends is hard.
I’ve won countless friends.
I have lost more friends than I’ve ever kept.
Some of them
For whatever reason
Stick.
Maybe they’re capable of forgiving my countless unconscious cruelties
My rough treatment
My tactlessness
Maybe they consider what I can give
to be worth what I take.
Maybe they’re able to accept my forgiveness
for the things they think they’ve done.

My friendships have been tried.
So many times
I don’t know what happened
but I lose them anyway.
I follow them until I realize
They’re not looking back at me.
This too, I must forgive.
And myself
For how I must have hurt them
Though I don’t know what it was.

Maybe no one did anything wrong.
Maybe it’s just nature
People come and go
Friendships rise and fall
with the changing tides.
Maybe I need more flexibility.

This is why I consider a friendship that sticks
Incredibly valuable.
Whatever alchemy
Has bonded us together
I refuse to let fall by the wayside.
Fight, drama, damage, conflict in values

I never considered myself loyal.
Loyalty always implied to me
That I would take their side no matter what.
That’s not what I do.
I consider rights and wrongs
According to my own ethics.
I try to make peace
Between them and their enemies
it’s the forgiveness thing again.
But I do love them no matter what.
Maybe that’s what loyalty really is.

Look at how good I make myself sound.
Somewhere in here is a lie
Somewhere in here is denial
That’s what it is to be human
We tell stories
We tell lies
even to ourselves.
I am not seeing something.
Maybe by love I am enacting hate,
My loyalty is fickleness,
My ethics are cold,
And my forgiveness is judgment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

Arizona Photos

 

These are in no particular order. I started to sort them and got walleyed. It’s more interesting out of order anyway. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.

 

There was always a highway just over the edge of an incredible view. Or is it the other way around?

IMG_20190915_101129159

It rained the day we went to the painted desert. My sister was sad the sun wasn’t there to make things glow, but I was happy to see all the blues highlighted! We argued about this a lot. I think I was trying to talk her into being happy despite the rain but I just ended up being unreasonably combative.IMG_20190915_140659796_HDRIMG_20190915_140754601_HDRIMG_20190915_115843855

Everything orange in the photo below is petrified wood. Or great big turds. See what you want.IMG_20190915_120718105IMG_20190915_120426625

Antelope Canyon X was surreal.IMG_20190917_110931836_HDRIMG_20190917_110945258IMG_20190917_110628661IMG_20190917_113345701

 

Trains, everywhere. Bringing food in from places that are actually able to make food.IMG_20190915_112648119IMG_20190917_141748914

This was my rock stack. See the useful skills I have accumulated in my varied life. Sandstone is hard to stack, because every time you put pressure on it it starts to crumble away.IMG_20190917_120130351IMG_20190915_100500313IMG_20190917_143826844_BURST000_COVERIMG_20190918_150558013IMG_20190917_170506298IMG_20190917_135551880IMG_20190915_183306657IMG_20190917_084418966IMG_20190915_115037311_HDRIMG_20190915_115013708IMG_20190917_141305446IMG_20190917_143934619IMG_20190917_140651189IMG_20190918_150000253IMG_20190915_105824222IMG_20190915_105748812IMG_20190915_113824581IMG_20190915_140648221IMG_20190917_170429464IMG_20190917_170720957IMG_20190915_115025563_HDRIMG_20190917_141758270IMG_20190918_150532846IMG_20190917_143327280IMG_20190918_150154259IMG_20190917_170402481IMG_20190915_140637172IMG_20190915_100243326_HDRIMG_20190915_140702640_HDRIMG_20190915_104946640_HDRIMG_20190920_122403237IMG_20190919_134300630IMG_20190920_152014397IMG_20190920_122714752IMG_20190918_155357620IMG_20190920_123007375

My niece took the below picture of the inside of a wishing well/fountain. It was too pretty not to include.IMG_20190920_151704271IMG_20190918_155249414_HDR

Below is Meteor Crater. Ten guesses what caused it.IMG_20190918_164456854

An old abandoned zoo. Weird derelict Route 66 stuff was everywhere. At first it depressed me but by the end of the trip I was starting to like it, despite myself.IMG_20190918_160430673IMG_20190920_122705100IMG_20190918_154432695_HDRIMG_20190920_121705320

Wanna feel fat? Take a short, moderate hike down into the Grand Canyon. Watch your family and friends outpace you. Watch them wait lovingly and politely for you to catch up at the top. Swear to self to be less fat in the future.IMG_20190919_134240310_HDRIMG_20190919_131050885IMG_20190920_111051352

I love taking pictures of people taking pictures of things. For some reason it’s just adorable to me, seeing them love the thing and try to capture it. See the way she loves that tree. Isn’t she adorable?IMG_20190920_121515592IMG_20190919_134224348_HDR

Entrance to the APACHE DEATH CAVE. Very tight squeezes, very ankle-turny. Amazingly, no ghosts! My favorite part was later when I asked my brother-in-law where he got that scratch on top of his bald head and he answered casually, “In the death cave.”IMG_20190918_154615192_HDRI thought the desert sun was exquisitely bright, turns out I just needed to clean my lens. Heh.IMG_20190920_121755899My siblings and I kept quoting Shorty in Indiana Jones, “See? Strong bridge! Strong bridge!”IMG_20190918_155405364IMG_20190920_121328323IMG_20190919_134233823_HDRIMG_20190920_180552688

 

Well, I expected rocks. Damned if I didn’t get them. You go to a gift shop, guess what they sell? ROCKS. You can also find arrowheads, or fossils, or petrified wood (i.e., rocks).

I expected a few more creatures, and life. Really didn’t get that. My brother-in-law and his son went searching for rattlesnakes, on purpose, everywhere they found brush, at every gas station or scrubby landscape. They. Found. Zero. I actually felt bad for them. Poor kids. No rattlesnakes for them.

When I got back to Missouri, I felt like a soggy mummy. My lips took a full week to heal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

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