Tag Archives: Humor

Snail Wallaby

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I’m feeling a bit more sane, so I drew this.

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Like is attracted to like. This is why snail wallabies are fond of straight-up snails. This is why humans generally prefer mammals as pets (unless they’re counter-culturists or sociopaths, who prefer spiders). This is why people who like spiders get married and lay egg sacks together.

This is why I’m reading so many blog entries, but only liking and following those whose worldviews I can understand. I reject anything that does not support my own personal delusions. Please don’t break down my wall of denial.

Opposites also attract, they say.

Given these two infallible truths, is there anything that doesn’t attract? We are just disgusting zitty creatures caught in the undeniable rip tides of our own hormones, aren’t we?

Office Produce

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It’s that time of year.

The office break room table is littered with free produce.

They’re never normal. There are always skinny u-shaped cucumbers, zucchini the size of hams, overly muscular heirloom tomatoes.

Oddly shaped vegetables that say things like, “New gardener,” “How in god’s name can anyone eat this many vegetables,” “I don’t have the energy to can or freeze foods,” and “Maybe somebody else will eat this penis-shaped one because I can’t handle the vibes it’s giving me.”

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