Tag Archives: Dark humor

Garlic breath

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“Kiss me,” she said.

He wasn’t sure. He could smell the garlic from here, and it wasn’t pretty.

“I have an idea,” he said, leaning away. “How about we whip up some mint milkshakes?” It was a good idea, but she wasn’t biting.

“I’m fuuuuuull,” she pouted. The garlic rolled by him as she whined the word, an invisible tsunami that hit him with nearly physical force. It was all he could do to keep himself upright.

“I can’t,” he murmured. “I just can’t.”

“What?”

“I SAID I CAN’T,” he cried out desperately. “I’m sorry! You’re just too garlicky!”

Her warm, cozy expression shattered. “What?”

“I’m so sorry! I can’t be in this room with you any more!”

He ran like the hounds of hell were after him, burst out the door, stumbled down the stairs, and zoomed away in his car.

She leaned back in the couch, nonplussed. She never got a reaction like that from a man. Garlic odor? What an odd way for his fears to manifest.

She grabbed her phone and sent a group text to her coven.

Sorry gals. He was a sensitive, sensed something wrong and ran. I’ll get us a fresh one tomorrow night, I promise.

 

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Mistakes make interesting things happen

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So I started to draw this cartoon about the fire drill at work, and the way nobody gave a damn. But I made a bad mistake on one of the people, overcorrected, finally gave up, rolled with the mistakes, and made it a full-on wookiee.

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Of course this was wildly distracting and since the paper is pink, I can’t white it out. I’m too lazy to redraw the image or photoshop it out. I thought it would be a funny, lazy fix if I just cut it out.

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Somehow this made the whole cartoon a lot darker, especially when you look at my desk as a whole. Suddenly it’s a commentary on isolation and depression. I’m generally a pretty upbeat gal, but my dark sense of humor always ends up taking my work to horrible places.

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Poor lonely mistake of a wookiee. It got ignored and went away… but where can it go, really? Its whole world is that one piece of paper; even if it tries to leave the paper, it’s still a part of it. Heh.

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