Journal – someone I remember

 

I am empty

I have been empty for weeks now.
Is it because I have stopped writing?
Or have I stopped writing because I am empty?

I exist
I
Do
So why do I feel
I must prove it to you?

Because there’s nothing in me
I will tell you about someone I knew
From a distance.

She wasn’t particularly pretty
But you never realized it
Because she had charisma.
A smile you were proud to earn
Bright intelligent eyes
She would decorate the office
Her own, or the common areas
Leaving little pieces of her personality
For you to encounter and delight in.
She could cook food like no one else
And she was good at her job, too.
She fixed your problems without trouble.
She was a bit of gossip
I don’t think she even had a very tender heart
So what was it about her
That fascinated us?
I’ve been trying for years to understand charisma
The it factor
Something to do with being who you are
Something to do with purity
Something to do with confidence.
There are things which defy definition.
There are people who, when described,
Sound unremarkable.
Yet if you meet them
You count yourself lucky for having had the experience.
And if they asked you
You would follow them
Without knowing why.

This woman, she retired.
She doesn’t keep in touch
She doesn’t attend functions anymore
She has faded out of casual conversation.
We were never really friends.
But every Halloween and every Christmas
Some of her decorations make it back into circulation
Sometimes one of the long-time staff mentions her fondly
She was popular
Though she is out of my life in almost every sphere
She lingers in my memory
A bright fingerprint on my brain
Unique to her own face and voice and charm.
I didn’t need her, I don’t miss her.
She has made an impact nonetheless.
That is charisma.
Rather,
That is how
I fail to define it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

12 comments

  • I love the poem!

    Perhaps oddly (oddly to you), I would say you had charisma.

    Liked by 1 person

  • I agree with Paul, key words being purity and confidence. I wondered where you were, glad to see a post, glad to “hear your voice” even as you type it out with less than the usual enthusiasm. Pauses are okay — maybe they are more likely at this time of year. Make yourself some bourbon balls and smile 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • I was expecting to get a creative refill by taking a break… instead I was just blank for two weeks. Maybe creativity is like a hole, getting bigger the more you take from it.
      O_O Why didn’t I think of bourbon balls! That just might fix everything… worth a try anyway!
      Thank you, Patricia ❤

      Like

  • This was a brilliant read! You definitely know how to keep a reader engaged through your stories & that in itself is charisma. 🙂 Hope the rest of December brings good things to you!

    Liked by 1 person

  • Sarah,
    1. You don’t owe anyone anything.
    2. This was a lovely remembrance about the lady in your office.
    3. When the original thoughts, ideas, words don’t come, that’s when the muse has gone on vacation. Damned muse! Leaving without even giving you the heads up. The muse will return. Always does. Will nag the you-know-what out of you until you are, once again, enslaved and forced to write all the thoughts and ideas that fill your mind. So until then, enjoy doing whatever else you enjoy doing. Take pictures. Draw. Hang out with people. Sing. Read. Re-read The Artist’s Way; the part about refilling the well.
    4. And if you’re depressed or just need to talk, have compassion for yourself, and talk through it with a counselor or a friend or someone else you trust. If you’d like, you have my phone number and you can call me anytime, day or night. I adore you and even when you think you have nothing to write, it still comes out lovely and all you!
    Much love and a great big hug to you, Mona

    Liked by 1 person

  • Let me know how they come out! I am going to try them too using your recipe!

    Liked by 1 person

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