Everyday magic
My last two posts were so serious, I had to write something stupid to make up for it.
“Great,” Edward said. “I can’t get the damn lever unstuck.”
“Oh,” Wendy said. “Should I try a spell?”
“I don’t know…”
“Oh, let’s try!” She said, suddenly enthusiastic. “I’ve been practicing.”
He grimaced in spite of himself. “I’m not sure. The lever already has a lot of magic in it just to work.”
“Pish posh,” she said. “Scootch over. Humbeldy bumbeldy wobbledy fobbledy bing bang boom, now move anyway you dumb old lever!”
The lever moved alright. It moved a full three hundred sixty degrees, and went around three times.
“Oh my god!” Edward screamed. “It can’t handle that much pressure! Run, Wendy, run!”
They ran, but they didn’t run fast enough. The whole house gave a deep metallic groan, the sound of a soul in anguish. They actually felt the walls around them bow with pressure. His ears popped.
And then the plumbing exploded.
Water and feces rained down on them both.
“Goddamnit Wendy,” Edward said. “Next time the magic toilet gets stopped up, just leave it to the professionals.”
“Don’t blame me,” Wendy said. “You broke the lever in the first place.”
“Great,” he said. “This is just great. We’re going to have to move out, get the whole system repaired.”
“I can seal the pipes,” Wendy said. “I know a spell for that.”
“No no no no no–”
“Pish posh,” she said. “Move out of the way.”
Fresh Hell 
Every witch has to start somewhere! 😀
I really love the description when the house is bowing from the pressure after her spell on the lever. So detailed, I could almost feel the ear pain! Reminds me of being on an airplane haha….Thank God no one used that spell on our plane ride home!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
eeuugh, stuck over the Atlantic for eight hours in sewage rain… your ears would be the least of your problems
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahaha so true! *blarg!*
LikeLiked by 1 person
Stupid? I do stupid too. In fact, I seldom do anything else. I like how you can take a trivial situation and plot and make it interesting.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha, sometimes it’s nice to just do stupid all day 😂
LikeLike
Stoopid is good. I like Wendy, she’s full of optimism. AND everyone needs to practice their art to perfect it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha, that’s right. Maybe by the end of the week they’ll have a workable house again, if she keeps practicing the way she is. Either that or it’ll be levelled…
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Magic toilet indeed ! Bravo
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hear they’re amazingly luxurious, but finicky and hard to maintain.
LikeLike
I think my kids believe we already have a magic self-cleaning toilet. They can leave it looking as if there has been some sort of ritual satanic slaughter in there and they simply expect it to be magically pristine the next morning
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL, I forgot about the required cleanup after ritual satanic slaughter. Perhaps the only people who ever have to clean up after ritual satanic slaughter are the cops? Maybe you should call them to scrub your toilets of blood and viscera.
LikeLike
Or just close the loo n board it up or move house
LikeLiked by 1 person
“I’ve had enough!! No more toilets for you kids!”
LikeLiked by 1 person