Kid’s stuff… or maybe not
Penorama said we should post something pointless. I’m always up for that!
I spent most of middle school writing stories with my friend Liz and giggling insanely in the corner of the classroom instead of doing work. When we wrote this, we must have been in… seventh grade, so 12-13ish?
This doesn’t make much sense… it was written by kids after all. Enjoy!
Darla and Doug
One day, a girl named Doug was walking along at the Zoo. Suddenly a monkey swooped down from a tree and hit her on the head. Then he threw coconuts at her.
“Ow! Ow! Owwwongle? Waahlamop.”
Then the monkey stole her purse and ran into the zookeeper. Then the zookeepers took the monkey way and gassed it.
Doug said, “Glop-op-do? Wa… Wha… Where am I?”
A passerby said, “You were just hit on the head with coconuts when a zookeeper gassed a monkey who swooped down from a tree. Or maybe it was a rhino. I’m not sure. I couldn’t tell the difference.”
Doug said, “Cool!”
The passerby said, “Where are your parents?”
Doug said, “I don’t know. I don’t remember having any. Can I live with you?”
Passerby said, “But I’m a guy named Darla. guys and girls don’t live together… Oh, well, I guess it’s an exception for me and you.
“OK.” Darla said. “I have to warn you, I’m forty-five and I live with my parents still.”
Doug said, “Oh, that’s alright. I dig old guys.”
Darla said, “Don’t you go hitting on my dad!”
Doug said, “OK, I’ll just hit on you. OK?”
“Sure!”
Darla and Doug walked away. On the way home, they visited a pet shop and bought a monkey.
“Be good now,” said Doug.
“Okay,” said the monkey, Bart. Then he stole some girl’s purse.
“I guess that just primate nature!” Doug laughed, then Darla laughed, and they walked home talking about cancer. They also bought some ice cream with the money from the monkey’s new purse.
Fresh Hell 
HHahahahaha, what the hell is this!!!
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I have FOLDERS of these things! I’m not sure I can post them all without giving Liz royalties 😀
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Do it girl!!!
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sheesh dont make me love this too much or my blog will be jam packed with this stuff. Loved your silly story, roller coaster ride all the way through😂
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Hey, I don’t mind if you don’t mind! As you said, we all take ourselves too seriously anyway
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Heck yes
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Bahahahahaha!!! I LOVE these things!! You’re the only person who can get me to laugh out loud by myself.
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Re-reading these is amazing, I was laughing too. Damn, Liz and I really had a dark sense of humor and a good read on societal norms back then, for kids. Nothing was sacred. I’ll have to go back through some of them. They’re really… barrier-breaking, haha
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I’m almost embarrassed to say it sounded like a perfectly good story to me. 😀
I didn’t begin writing until my junior year in high school. Before then, the only writing I’d done was for assignments. I recall my first private essay. It was all about why it’s hard to write.
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I think it’s good too. It doesn’t make much sense, has storytelling and grammatical issues, but it gets a reaction, and that’s what’s most important right?
It’s hard to believe that Prolific Paul had trouble getting the words out at one time 😉
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“Prolific Paul”. I rather like that. If history is any guide, however, some day the words will come hard again. These things go in cycles with me.
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Partially Prolific Paul, then? Practically Prolific… Part-time Prolific… Ppppppp it’s midnight I’m going to bed!
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Sleep well!
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I can’t sleep. I keep writing! Aaugh
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Hah hah! Been there! 😀
I just woke up from a short nap. I’ll need another soon.
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