Was it four years ago
When you were in the kitchen, insisting on helping with the dishes
You took so long
Running the disposal dry for minutes at a time.
Was it three years ago
In the cold, you in your green trenchcoat and walker
And I took you to a Chinese restaurant
For your latest obsession, orange chicken.
You hugged the waitress and told her you loved her.
Was it two years ago
When I was feeding you ice cream in bed
Sugar free, but we didn’t tell you that.
You ate it all, every time if I let you.
You told us you weren’t sick.
Was it one year ago
We’d asked you if you were done with meds
And you nodded an emphatic yes
One of the last things you said.
We held your blue fingers
And watched you fade.
I miss you
I miss you
I hated to see you suffer
I was glad you got to go
But I still miss you.
Days go by
I’ve made new friends
I’ve found new joys
I am blossoming in new ways
You would be proud
You were always proud.
I haven’t missed out on anything
But I miss so much.
You were always easy to talk to
You knew things
I bet everything I have uncovered for myself
You already knew.