Tag Archives: ghosts

The Man with the Flat Cap

Flash fiction again.

 

The Man with the Flat Cap

She sat looking out the cafe window at the cold white Christmas lights and tried to remember who she was. Her husband gone. All alone.

Her coffee was cold. She didn’t care. She sat and stared at the lights, longing to be one of them, to not feel anymore.

Something passed in front of them, obliterating her view in dark shadow.

Fuck it.

She got up and paid, leaving her coffee on the table.

 

She walked to her car when a chill swept under her skin, colder than the cutting winter wind. She turned and saw a man with a flat cap silhouetted, a dark shadow against the lights.

Although she couldn’t be sure, he seemed to be following her. She shuddered and walked faster.

Straining to hear his footsteps behind her, to keep track of how close he was, she hurried to her car. With trembling hands she unlocked the door and climbed in. Slamming the door shut and locking it, she peered out, but the man was gone.

She felt silly. But glad to be safe.

Why didn’t she hear his footsteps?

Shaken, she pulled her gloves out of her pocket, dropped one on the floor under her seat, reached for it.

In the dim glow of the lights, she saw something else under the seat.

Her husband’s flat cap.

She realized that terror she’d felt was the first time in a month she’d been glad to be alive.

She chuckled at his sense of humor. He was always one for pranks. And she didn’t feel so alone anymore.

Something metallic lightly tapped her window.

She glanced up and into the face of the man who had been following her. He was grinning at her, all brown mangled teeth, and tapping on her window with a knife.

She screamed, started the car, and veered away, leaving the man in the street, laughing hysterically under the cold white lights.

On Ghosts

You might call me a ghost agnostic.

One time I found a video of a ghost. It was shot in a dark room with poorly balanced lighting on the camera, you know how it goes. The footage said something like, “MOST AMAZING SUPERNATURAL FOOTAGE etc etc.” You clicked on it, and watched a murky silhouette of a ghost. It was sitting in a chair. It kind of shifted around, like it needed to get its buttcheek meat properly situated. Then it disappeared. Wow. Most amazing.  People are thrilled to the toes when they see something they can’t explain, so they don’t seem to realize what boring lives ghosts lead. All of a ghost’s angst and drama is built around wanting to move, to get out, but being trapped by their own bitterness or sense of responsibility. It’s just office life all over again.

 

Ghosts are people too.

Ghosts wear too much perfume

They smoke inside.

They enjoy a nice rocking chair.

They use the stairs

Turn on the stove

Get annoyed at closed doors.

They pace when troubled.

They trip people

And pull hair.

They make phone calls.

They battle household pets.

They drop dishes

And run loudly into furniture

And knock over lamps, they’re clumsy as shit.

Ghosts go for walks.

Use umbrellas.

They’re very stealy.

Ghosts love musical instruments

But are painfully tone deaf.

Anytime a ghost manifests and picks a wedgie

There will be an idiot with a camera

Who distributes this fascinating footage

To the awestruck, stupidstruck living.