Tag Archives: crazy

Journal – Brain overdose

 

An average day PMSing:

I have doubted my bread consumption, worried about getting bunion surgery, worried about my vaccines, doubted the entire medical field, worried about calories, tried to figure what the hell it is about butyrate, worried about Huntington’s, worried about my sister quitting sugar, grown frustrated at the lack of substance to online research, researched online how people research online, hated on the fallibility of the media, hated on food trends, hated on trend haters, considered joining a gym, considered buying a weight set, considered cycling to work and abandoned the concept for the millionth time, bashed myself for abandoning the concept of cycling to work, worried about the poorly maintained areas in my house, worried about the quality of my writing, worried about whether I’ll finish my comic… of course this is the hyper-condensed version, and all within the space of a few hours.

Do you see why I love meditation? I can’t believe lots of normal people go through life thinking like this every day. I can see it in their eyes. They’re always on high alert, waiting for reality to pounce.

I’d like to trade in my higher brain for nothing. Just leave it hollow. We only need a primitive brainstem to function anyway. Lizard smiles from me to you!

 

smile

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

Inside

 

Do you hear it?

Please say you do too

Scratching, scuttling, nervous sounds

Like a small animal

Whose heart flutters at 200 beats per minute

Whose teeth must ever

Chew

Chew

Chew

It skitters in the walls

Tiny nails abrading wood

But worse

The tiny teeth!

Nibbling the bones of the home

The rafters

The foundation

Scratching the insulation

Gnawing, nesting, breaking down, carrying on

Now you know how crazy people feel

Hearing rats in the walls

It’s a sound which can shatter your sanity

What if you could never escape?

Those constant little scritches

The sound, the feel of damage

That intense high strung entity

So busy inside

Your ceiling and walls

What if you could never escape?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

angels are

 

oh I feel that crazy

a’creepin on me

things are gettin hazy

gettin hard to see

 

oh I feel that satan

tryna tell me wrong

that fella’s good at talkin

sings a pretty song

 

oh I feel that hatred

swallowin my guts

fight what’s on the inside

that’s how you go nuts

 

there’s a way

a door, a door

but I can’t find

the way no more

 

fuck my inhibitions

fuck my childhood too

fuck my gentle nature

do what sadists do

today we kill

tomorrow we maim

this week we bomb

a people train

let’s be the best

at being worse

we’re nothing but

live liverwurst

to shoot to score

to be a whore

to live to die

don’t fucking cry

it’s only another few days mama

we’ve only got this to behave mama

we can’t escape we are slaves mama

we’re children of angels

cuz angels are good

and angels are bad

and angels are–