Author Archives: Sarah

Cute Spider

Yesterday, on lunch, my friend Hannah and I met the cutest little spider.

I’ve been reading Dragonball to her on lunch. Reading Dragonball aloud is the most hilarious thing. You should definitely try it. It’s very important that Hannah has a firm background in the classics, so I’ve taken it upon myself to educate her in this regard. Needless to say, she is a very patient friend.

As I was screaming at her, the spider came up to us. He stood on our table and always had at least one foreleg outstretched, like the pinky finger of a tea drinker. Often he had two legs out. He was so dainty. The pictures Hannah took give him scary black spikes on his legs, but he actually had fluffy clear spikes.

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If I poked at him, or if the camera got too close, he would do fast little parkour hops and bank off of the thing in the most alarming and stop-motion way. Have you ever noticed, some spiders move in stop-motion? Especially jumping spiders.

We decided he was looking to catch a fine breeze and let him use our table, but he was really extra and distracting. Dragonball was pretty much a bust that day.

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Colors

This one was fun to write.

 

Purple

Vigor of violets

Color of rumpled tumble

A floral nectar

Indigo days

Creativity

A little sad but a lot of fun

Close your eyes and it lingers still

Smell the purple

Taste the purple

Fall backwards into a field

Of purple

 

Red

Gold flowing molten

Red weave of amber sunshine

Angular

Spicy

A piece of brittle shard

Cut of blood

Mane of light

Flaming

 

Blue

Wide open

Unending

Clear and nothing

Space

 

Space

 

A peaceful breeze

The round scent of ozone

Let your muscles uncurl

Sweet blue

 

Orange

Orange loves you

But orange is poison

Glares on the eyes

Beckons

Demands attention

Explosion

Venom

Construction

But also laces

the delicate wings of butterflies

Orange defends

Protects

Attacks

 

Green

Vivid life

Everything

Weighty with moisture

A bug

A hundred billion bugs

One leaf

Ten quadrillion fragrant green leaves

The balming scent of cut grass

The shade of bounty

 

Yellow

Joy

Pure unrefined joy

A trickle of urine

A trickle of light

Lemon meringue pie

A picnic on a bright day

A ten kilowatt smile

Warmth

Gummy bears

 

White

They say white is purity

White is also crisp

Anemic

Orderly

Functional

Clean

Like bleach

Cruel

Like bleach

Uncompromising

Amoral

Focused yet empty

 

Black

Black is the night

Lit by fireflies

Lit by stars

Filled with lovemaking

Black is chilly

But quiet

She keeps your secrets

The things you committed in white

Black is kind

With resting bitchface

Our love is

I don’t write you many love poems

Because we’re too alike.

We are both too sarcastic

To boast of Shakespearean attachments: there is no life without my love and all that.

That’s just terrifying.

No, our love is a fine friendship

Only slightly crippled by your bad puns.

Our love is perfect honesty without condemnation.

Our love is to give each other absolute freedom

And watch the other return again and again.

Our love is the ability to bring each other back to our senses.

Our love is when I let you have the last piece of chocolate

Or when you notice I’m cold and turn off the AC.

A thousand tiny untold sacrifices.

There is no obsession here.

There is only kindness

Generosity

A willing ear.

It’s a fond knowledge

That someone good

Is always there for me at the end of the day.

Just drivel

Last night I drove to my sister’s to give her ham. (The ham was amazing by the way. Rich, savory, smoky, salty meat magic. So much better than your average pale water-logged drowned-corpse store-bought ham.)

Unfortunately no one was there. We’d missed each other! She was in town, where I’d just come from. Curses.  They were in the middle of getting their house fumigated for brown recluses. So I did the normal thing: got in through their garage, held my breath, and made a ham deposit in their fridge. The fumigator guys were long gone, but nobody was supposed to be in the house for another three hours. I’m fine, I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’m no brown recluse.

Then I drove back to town and met the same sister for ice cream. The drive was so ridiculously pointless, but we hadn’t been able to get ahold of each other until it was too late.

Still, the ice cream was nice, and her kids are lovely little people, if you don’t mind people who hang their whole weight from your neck and giggle insanely at their own poop jokes. We all made faces at each other while we ate our ice cream. Now we all know exactly who can do the Elvis lip and with how many sides of their face, who can raise which eyebrows, etc. I let them benefit from my greater age and wisdom and taught them a few things. As a child, I practiced these things in the bathroom mirror with the vague premonition that they would come in useful one day, and lo, they have.

Then I went for a run. My app refused to work so I just ran without it, and it was one of the nicest runs I’ve had all year. Why was I timing myself again? What horrible things we do to ourselves without even being aware. It’s easier to enjoy a run when you don’t have to meet some kind of arbitrary deadline. And it’s easier to get yourself out the door when you know you will enjoy the run. You will be a happier runner if you don’t worry about all the little scientific aspects of running, and being a happier runner who follows the dictates of the body will make you a healthier runner. This is Tao. By not working hard at running, I’ll be a better runner. No more running app for me.

Then I went to the grocery, picked up some bread and blackberries, went home, made the most delicious grilled ham and cheese sandwiches with the ham I’d smoked. I also threw together a blackberry cobbler and accidentally gave it way too much biscuit crust which took forever to cook. Everything was delicious. The beauty of life is directly proportional to the beauty of the food, and today my friends, life was beautiful.

Then I went to bed early in an attempt to get up early. Got a wild hair up my ass and composed a villanelle which took hours and then it was late. My lifelong struggle has been to get up early. I’m wondering if I can use what I learned from my run today to help me get up early in the mornings. I want to get up early in the mornings. So… I’m just going to stop trying. See where that gets me. There’s no easier experiment.

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Villanelle – To the Razor

I’ve never written a villanelle before. It was like a jigsaw puzzle. Something about having to pore over the lines so carefully removes me from the work by a few degrees, so I found myself taking on a little bit of a character as I wrote it.

 

To the Razor

 

You promise freedom but you’re just a hook.

Reflect my wasted life in your dark shine.

I can’t afford to pay for what you took.

 

Fishy in a bathtub, not a brook

I can’t believe I’m sucking on your line – –

You promise freedom but you’re just a hook.

 

There’s no reseating all the things you shook.

The friends and health and prospects that were mine.

I can’t afford to pay for what you took.

 

The brief relief of bright pain made me look.

My eyes are open now that there’s no time.

You promise freedom but you’re just a hook.

 

You shitty little con man. Thieving crook.

You told me you were peace but you were lying.

I can’t afford to pay for what you took.

 

Oh Jesus is it true my soul’s forsook?

A miracle: bathwater turned to wine.

You promise freedom but you’re just a hook.

I can’t afford to pay for what you took.

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